Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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