This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
