Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
