i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
