so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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