am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
