So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
