no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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