I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
