He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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