but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
