cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
