Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
