He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
