Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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