dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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