Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
