I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
