I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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