i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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