it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
