I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
