How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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