Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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