my soul wont recognize me after tonight
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
