how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
