smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
