its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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