chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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