it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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