Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i was born a porn star she said
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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