can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
