Do you still have your period?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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