How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
