my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
