Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
