I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
