So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
