watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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