it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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