Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
