you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
