I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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