he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
