Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
