he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
