Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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