We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
