i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
