New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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