Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
